” Mr Lunderguaard, I sentence you the maximum penalty of is 10 years’ imprisonment for: an offence against section 134.2(1) of the Criminal Code. ”
This replayed through Jerry Lunderguaard’s head as he lay on the desolate mattress in a medium security cell in stillwaters’ minnesota correctional facility.
Raise your voice, open your mind, unlock your imagination
Hi Olivia,
Nice start to your story. Good strong hook of starting with the internal monologue of your character.
Something to be careful of is your use of punctuation. Where you have written “years’” and “stillwaters’” is incorrect. By saying years’, this means you are saying that the multiple years have ownership of the imprisonment and the same with Stillwaters’, you are saying that multiple stillwaters have ownership of the prison.
Both of these do not need the ‘ at all. 10 years imprisonment and Stillwater correctional facility. Don’t forget to capitalise Stillwater as well as this is a name.